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October 15, 2026
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The “Ram Ranch Resistance” Frustrates the “Freedom Convoy”

The “Freedom Convoy” protests are being forcibly dispersed in Ottawa with Prime Minister Trudeau invoking the Emergencies Act. 

Even before the invoking of the Emergencies Act, protest organizers faced adversity from a grassroots source. 

Protestors in different areas were using the platform “Zello” to organize themselves. Zello is an app which allows your smartphone to function as a walkie-talkie. 

Users access public channels such as “Freedom Convoy Ottawa” which allows them to chat freely with other users of the channel. 

What protest organizers did not know is that unfriendly individuals were accessing the channel with devious intentions. They hoped to bring the convoy into a state of disarray. 

The foes were of two breeds. Some were outright trolls while others took a more calculated approach. 

The tool of the trolls was the pornographic metal anthem “Ram Ranch,” written by Toronto’s Grant MacDonald. 

The trolls would simply blast the song into the channel, paralyzing communications between convoy organizers. “Eighteen naked cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch,” became a line that protest organizers got used to hearing. 

More cunning saboteurs took a calculated approach. They gained the trust of protest organizers and moderators of the Zello channels to the point of being made moderators themselves. 

When one Zello channel was effectively neutered by the “Ram Ranch Resistance,” as they called themselves, another channel would be formed. 

The convoy organizers would create a private channel so only trusted people would be allowed to join. The problem was that infiltrators were among those ranks. 

The trusted resistance members would secretly invite trolls into the channel to disrupt communications with the playing of Ram Ranch while maintaining their undercover status. 

Teagan McLean, a Windsor resident, was one of the main leaders of the Ram Ranch Resistance. He quickly gained moderator status in the Zello channels. 

His efforts in shutting down the Ambassador Bridge communication channels were quickly emulated in Ottawa and protest organization efforts over Zello were effectively neutered. 

MacDonald’s signature song is a seven minute metal rage fest with lyrics you may not want your mother to hear. 

At first, MacDonald was worried that the truckers were playing his song in the protest. He was pleasantly surprised to learn of the Ram Ranch Resistance and recently released a 20-minute-long NSFW song called “Ottawa Truckers.” 

Teagan Mclean was unavailable for comment on this story. 

 

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