Human is the latest live experience brought to us by Primates. We all know I loved their previous live experiences Gorilla and Denisovan. Neanderthal didn’t hold up well and amounted to a much too brief thrill (some of the Neanderthal content has even been repurposed for the Human experience, with mixed results).

It’s time for The Bruns to take a deep dive into the Human experience, giving you the low down on the species that is all the rage. There are some emotional moments here folks.

Let’s take a look at this exciting body of work. 

At first glance, the Human body ignites high expectations. There are some really interesting features here, like: stringy tentacles for grabbing, called fingers, bipedal standing sticks, called legs, and a mushy pile of skull spaghetti, called the human brain that, despite the hype, has surprisingly mixed cognitive results.

Things seem good until we get to the more seemingly innocuous details, which start to unravel some of the weaker experiences of being human. So, you, a Human, are trampling along on your bipedal standing sticks when out of nowhere comes an immovable obstacle such as a chair-leg or a television stand, and WHAM! they slam against one of your platform nubs (AKA toes). The pain from this experience is way overblown, and if Human is ever remixed, I hope they make this part more low-key.

Also, the stomach is a real mixed bag. Eating can be a real pleasure, bringing some of the highest highs of the experience. But drinking is totally overrated. Fans of the Human experience often tout it as one of the best parts, but ultimately the expulsion of the stomach that falls in the latter half of the run is so monotonous, noisy and gruelling; it isn’t worth the moments of euphoria promised in the earlier half.

Fans have also been crazy about Sex, one of the most talked-about parts of the Human experience. Advertising claimed that every user would have a unique iteration of Sex, with some human models being shipped out without the ability or desire to have it. While it is certainly an enjoyable part of the whole experience, users who have received models without Sex stand by their models, touting the addition of Sex as unnecessary, frivolous, or just not for them.

Finally, I take a thorough look at the cognitive elements of the live Human experience. It takes a while to get used to this one folks, with the first several years taking some time to grow on you. At first, nothing seems to make sense, but once you reach the latter half of mental growth, the first half fits in better retrospectively. Some major flaws pop up now and then, including jealousy, anger, and melancholy. The social feature of human cognition reveals other flaws. When a group of straight, white male human models are placed together, egos tend to rise, repelling other humans.

Ultimately, the pros outweigh the cons. The Human experience is so varied and unusual, I can’t help but recommend giving it a try. Though I hope the next release by Primates can fix some of the major flaws present.