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The bold and the lonely

Anything worth accomplishing in this life involves a level of bravery. You need to step outside of your norm if you ever want to change. Losing weight involves it too. I learned the hard way that any moment worth living requires bravery; however, no one told me that to be brave, you need to be alone.

I was pretty used to being on my own in my obese days. People would drink and party, not thinking about tomorrow. But me, I was alone, hoping tomorrow I’d still be here. I couldn’t keep faith in myself. People came into my life briefly and made an impact, but were gone before I needed them most. I would have given anything for a hug and the words, “everything’s going to be okay.” We so often struggle with this weight loss journey because we’re alone. We don’t see the upside, only the emptiness.

We worry so much about impressing others that we don’t realize our own potential. The upside: being alone means bravery in some way. Bravery means you’re doing something you thought you never could. Never forget that no matter who comes in and out of your life, you found a way to stand on your own two feet.

If you want to lose weight and feel alone, it’s okay. Courage exists in you, not your surroundings. When I lost weight, I didn’t always have anyone to high-five, hug, or say something I needed to hear, but that’s how I learned my potential.

I know lonely sucks. I spent so much time with an empty car seat next to me staring at a single concert ticket because no one was there for me. That feeling doesn’t last forever.

I was alone after the marathon. I dragged my corpse home and collapsed on my couch. No one to celebrate with or to talk about the accomplishment with (apart from Facebook). The beauty in it was knowing my own strength, and I didn’t need to rely on others. From day one, no one ever stuck by me for every step. No one ever made sure I was okay, or showed me endless support through every obstacle I ever faced. But I made it.

Physically destroyed, I embraced this torturous journey alone. I conquered it alone. Though many people laughed at me, abandoned me, neglected me and simply weren’t there, I still made it to that day knowing I survived everything hell could throw at me. The moment was mine, and that’s the loneliness I could live with.

Like the journey of tears, blood, and emotional stamina, I had no one. But everyone on that couch was there with me from day one. It was hard to be lonely, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. In a way, that’s what made the trip worth it. If I had someone there for me every step of the way, the lesson would not have been so clear.

“I don’t know what your destiny will be … but I know one thing: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.” – Albert Schweitzer

 

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