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SPOOF: UNB admin attempt Ellen selfie; fail due to sheer size

By: The Pizza Whisperer

A photo taken by the UNB administration is causing some buzz on campus — for all the wrong reasons.

In the wake of the record-breaking selfie taken by Oscars host Ellen Degeneres, UNB officials decided to conduct a re-creation in an attempt to connect with students and appear “hip.”

“Selfie” is the term coined for a photo one takes of oneself. Selfies are most frequently taken on cellular telephones or portable laptop computers. It is not uncommon for young people to take and share many selfies, but when adults over 40 partake in the activity, things quickly turn awkward.

Ellen’s spontaneous selfie featured many celebrities posing together, and quickly went viral on the popular social media site Twitter.

When the UNB administration attempted to re-create the photo, however, they ran into difficulties.

“It seems that the university administration is too large to fit in one selfie,” said a UNB spokesperson. “Which I guess we should have all seen coming, given that we hire five new people every week with no signs of slowing down.”

UNB president Eddy Campbell was adamant that the photo’s failure was due to the fact that he has incredibly short arms.

“That’s the key to a good selfie, the arms,” said Campbell, who apparently has a Twitter account.

Although the photo initially got no retweets, students eventually found it and passed it around as entertainment.

“They did manage to fit 37 people in the selfie, but over 200 administrators were left out,” said a student. “I think they’re trying to seem cool so that we like them, but participating in pop culture really doesn’t hide the fact that there are so many of them.”

The student then added, “It’s pretty fuckin’ dumb.”

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