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SPOOF: The phantom of the defence | George Lucas to coach team

By: Lebron James

Star Wars fans are flocking to Fredericton to see the UNB men’s soccer team play; the reason why may be a little surprising.

George Lucas, creator of the popular Star Wars franchise, has decided to coach the UNB men’s soccer team — the Vader Reds.

He decided to come to Fredericton after men’s soccer head coach Metres Pensent recruited the fan favourite to come coach the team’s goalie roster.

“I have studied his movies since I was a kid,” said Pensent. “From what I see he knows how to set up a good defensive line and defeat all other ‘teams.’ ”

Lucas said he is hoping to implement a shassa style of defence – a mysterious old battle curse.

From the discussion, it seems as though inspiration from his movies will play a crucial role in his attacking style.

“My team will indeed be much like my movies,” said Lucas. “I feel as though it is always a battle of good against evil — us against them — so I want them to feel as though this really is war.”

When asked his feelings on the men finishing third at nationals last season, he said he will be using it as a stepping stone for the coming season.

“Hey, Sith happens,” he said. “We’ll train as hard as we can and then leave it to the cosmic deck.”

The 69-year-old director, screenwriter, producer and entrepreneur was hesitant at first about coming to such a heavily-populated area as Fredericton. But his nerves were put at ease once he realized that no one recognized his face.

“It wasn’t until I said who I was that anyone really knew,” he said “But even then, the younger generation just responded with ‘that’s nice.’”

Lucas’s final words were simply that he is excited to get to work with the team.

“May the force be strong with these ones.”

Editor’s note: the previous publishing of the article had a grammatical error. Lucas is to coach the “soccer” team, not the “seccar” team – he will not be coaching a galaxy-wide public security office. Thank you Wookiepedia for catching the error.

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