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SPOOF: Council recognizes that students still don’t know what NBSA is

By: Ziggy Creamcheese

After years of debating at council meetings, which no students attend, the UNBSU passed a motion on Sunday to acknowledge that no students other than them know what the New Brunswick Student Alliance (NBSA) actually is.

“We’ve been talking about this organization for years,” said UNBSU president Ted Sharpney. “And even after pouring a shit-ton of money into it, it’s clear nobody besides us knows what the fuck this thing is. It’s time to finally acknowledge this officially.”

However, UNBSU vice-president external Brad Freakily disagreed. Freakily has been working on NBSA’s board this year, patting himself on the back every time the organization does payroll.

“Shaking hands with men in suits is the most effective way to bring positive change for students,” Freakily said.

Despite Freakily’s repeated assertions about how awesome he looks shaking hands with greying politicians, council remained unconvinced that students know what the NBSA is.

The motion passed almost unanimously, with the one opposing vote being from Freakily.

“You’re all going against students’ wishes,” Freakily said as he stormed out of the room.

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