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Dear Ari.

Dear Ari,
My girlfriend is super involved, and that’s one of the things I love about her. But sometimes it feels like she’s so busy doing other stuff that she has no time for me. How do I tell her without sounding selfish?
Sincerely,
Neglected Nancy

Dear Neglected-
If your girlfriend is so involved, I’m guessing that her schedule is pretty tightly packed. For some relationships, the norm is to be able to hang out without much planning, but when someone is so busy, even little things like watching a half-hour of TV or having a coffee might have to be planned.
Get to know her schedule, so you can try planning those little kinds of dates far in advance. I’m sure she’ll appreciate your initiative, and you’ll likely help to take the stress off of both of you.
If it still seems like she doesn’t have time for you after your efforts, you’ll need to explain to her that although you’re proud of her, and you support her involvement, you feel like you’re out of the loop, and you feel left out. You’ve done your work to incorporate yourself into her schedule, and it’s time for her to reciprocate.
It’s not selfish to expect attention from your significant other!
Affectionately,
Ari

Dear Ari,
I heard a nasty rumour about a co-worker the other day. The person told me it was 100% true, but I have a hard time believing it. I don’t know this co-worker very well, though. Should I investigate? Should I tell my co-worker about this gossip? Should I pretend I have no idea? WHAT DO.
Sincerely,
Gossip Mill Gill

Dear Gossip,
Since you don’t know this co-worker very well, it’s advisable to start by staying out of it, depending on what the rumour is. There are, however, a couple of instances in which I would suggest further involvement.
If the rumour mill keeps churning, you may want to consider warning the colleague in question about what’s being said. Aim for a neutral and informative approach. It doesn’t matter whether or not this person actually did what has been said about them. All that matters is that professionalism within the workplace is maintained.
On the other hand, if the rumour is something that will affect the way your workplace runs, you should think about alerting your supervisor or management about the rumour, assuring them that it could just be hearsay, but that you wouldn’t want more people to be impacted.
It’s a tough situation, but you’ll be fine if you remember to stay professional!
Affectionately,
Ari

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